Doing What I Do Best...

Well the team and I are on the road again and it's going great! What that means is that we have our mobile store set-up and are selling custom tee shirts and a pretty large county fair. This is a first for us (selling tees outside of the 12-Step market) and so far the transition has been smooth. Actually it's gone from "I hope we do ok", to "man, this kinda sucks, but I know things will pick up", to "c'mon God smile on us, we're doing the next right thing" to "ok it's going to be what its going to be & i'll just be ok with it" to "hell yeah ! I knew we'd do good, I never doubted for an instant". Yeah I'd call that smooth. Moral of the story is: I am so human - I feel a variety of things and life gives me the opportunity to practice a variety of spiritual principles daily. I just keep practicing and I get better.
JUST FOR TODAY: Thank you God for the courage to step out on faith and try something new (it took quite a bit of cash to prepare for this event), the commitment, patience, perseverence and self-discipline to make it happen and hold on tightly with both hands (because an addict like me will get a case of the "fuck-it's" real quick and be ready to pack it up and go home; especially when it's 100 degrees outside), the acceptance to be ok with whatever the outcome is and the honesty and integrity to do what I gotta do, but not by "any means necessary" (we won't compromise our principles to make sales). This road to recovery isn't without its fair share of pot-holes, traffic jams, twists and turns but it is still a road filled with wonderful experiences and great rewards.
Peace.

Masterbation? Yuck!

Is masterbation a form of 'self-love'? Is it some nasty thing that only perverts do? Is it just another normal, natural thing that normal people do? Good question. The answer is... whatever you think it is. We create our own realities sometimes, and that reality can be ugly if its based on misinformation. Why am I even talking about this? because me & a friend were discussing it and it was revealed that I think masterbation is disgusting (unless it's a women on an adult movie) and that if I do it then I am disgusting and sneaky and nasty and perverted. Well needless to say I have done it and I have felt all those self-esteem assassinating feelings. So my friend and I were discussing how I came to view masterbating as such a bad thing. Something from my childhood - go figure. I'm a grown man operating on a child's information - sound familiar to anyone? Nah not this crowd, I'm sure. But anyway I just decided to take a leap of faith and share this in hopes that maybe I can get some relief. Because I don't want to continue feeling like a sicko if I decide to "periodically" indulge. Maybe somebody will have the courage to share something profound (which usually turns out to be profoundly simple) with me. Maybe people will be too afraid to touch this topic. Maybe people feel the same way I do. Just for today - I'm not in denial anymore - I have done it, and I know I'm not a sicko...
I'll just be glad when my mind believes that too. Whew ! feels like I just did a "mini-fourth step". JUST FOR TODAY: somebody had the courage to say some 'out there' things when I first got here & it helped me get freedom from that feeling of terminal uniqueness. Maybe it's my time to give back. And remember those that judge, don't matter & those that matter, don't judge.