Powerfully powerless...

I started this new job recently at the local detox center. My first formal job in about 4 years. Needless to say that there was adjusting to be done, but it wasn't nearly as bad as my "fears" told me it would be. I mean I actually wrestled with thoughts like: I won't be good enough, it'll be too hard, I'm too old to learn new tricks, they won't like me, I don't have anything to wear, etc. My mind has the ability to rationalize all sorts of non-sense in an apparent effort to sabotage my efforts towards growth - this is just an example of the type of anti-recovery monster that I have to deal with on a regular basis.
At any rate - I showed up and things went well. They like me & I love the job. I especially enjoy the 'helping others' part. Since people are only there for a short period of time, I try to share concentrated hope with them, taking care not to overwhelm or make this recovery process seem too complicated. It's not easy, it's a lot more involved than just saying "Keep coming back". But it feels great when I see a glimmer of hope in someones eyes after sharing with them. I feel that I am in a position to carry the message - that I have some type of power to plant the seeds that CAN affect a change in somebody's life. That feels awesome & I thank God for the opportunity to be a vessel for carrying the message. But... for real, some peole aren't done yet, some people are full of shit and some people leave and go get high again. I am once again reminded of my own powerlessness & that each individual has to make their own choice. I want to build a wall between me & "them" so that I don't get hurt. But that's the way it is not just at work but at any meeting and in life in general.
Just for today I choose to believe that although I don't have to power to carry an addict, I have been charged to carry the message. It brings me joy knowing that I am doing what my Higher Power would want me to do - now what happens after that, who chooses to hear the message and act on it, all that is out of my hands. God knows what he is doing. I am extremely grateful that I am clean today and that I know I am a miracle.