Gratitude...

There's nothing really going on in my life today, and I sometimes have the tendency to not write when there's no drama. For some reason I think drama makes for more interesting reading. But in this new pathway of life that I travel, I understand the importance of recognizing and appreciating the serenity and peace of 'just another day'. I have a tremendous amount of gratitude today for the absence of chaos, good health, a bright outlook on my future and another day clean. I think I had a spiritual experience today driving through town listening to my stereo, there was an 'oldie'(from way back in the 90's) playing and it just 'took me there'. I was singing out loud and smiling and flooded with great emotions and memories of a time gone by. It was awesome. When the song went off, I thanked God for all the beauty in my life today especially the ability to feel again. Just for today; I know that everything I feel won't be joyous, but I am so very grateful for those feelings that are. What an unbelievably good day to be clean.
Peace.

Thanks Asshole

Today I have a great deal of appreciation for those members of the fellowship and society at large whom I choose to categorize as assholes. I'm not saying that I like assholes or am an asshole myself (most of the time, to my knowledge). I'm just saying that when I see someone 'asshole-ing out' instead of instantly getting angry, disappointed or judgmental- i try to think positive and say "Whew I sure am glad that's not me". Which gets me in touch with my own personal growth & assets. But it also serves as an opportunity to learn and grow because it shows me what I don't want to do or be like. So hey to all you fuckin' assholes, thanks a bunch for showing me the the way to a better life.
Just for today: This is the mother of all mind games and the stakes are high - my life & serenity are on the line. I have a choice on how I choose to perceive things & I choose the path that leads to enlightenment, growth & serenity. Peace.

RollerCoaster From Hell...

You know how life can be so really cool one day and then the very next day BOOM, the bottom falls out and everything seems to be going to poop? Yeah that sucks. but what really sucks is when you have one of those days where everything starts out going super-duper great and then somewhere along the way BOOM nothings going right at all. Today has been one of those best/worst days for me. Today started out pretty good, I actually had help taking care of my son (18 months old) which freed me up to take care of some of my business uninterupted. I had a few friends stop by and visit which was great & i got a lot of work done (i'm self employed). So far so good. Then the misses comes home and isn't in a very good mood (which for some odd reason has an effect on my mood), then i noticed that we were completely out of certain necessary materials (i hate running out, i need to get way more organized) then i noticed a critical mistake in an order (wrong dates on a batch of tee-shirts) Oh my God - i just lost about $800.00 profit just that quick and without my much needed materials I have no way to make it up in time. Oh well no time to trip about it - gotta get to my meeting & it was good. So now i'm home and a little nervous about speaking tomorrow, so I'm just gonna cool out, watch a movie and get some rest - even though we have a house full of wild children visiting - running around screaming, fighting & crying (yeah real peacful) I work a program which sometimes makes me feel like i'm wearing emotional handcuffs - i'm becoming too mature to keep acting out and i'm just too damn grateful to be getting all depressed about things... but Lord knows that sometimes i'd like to just kick a big old hole in a wall & then throw myself a nice large pity party for one. Thank God for recovery and the ability to feel things, talk about things, think about things, pray about things and just go on with my life.
Just for today I understand that shits gonna happen & sometimes its gonna happen to me - oh well we all get a turn. I am grateful that I have tools that help me cope so that I don't feel the need to go "cop". And by the way Peace is where we find it.