You know how life can be so really cool one day and then the very next day BOOM, the bottom falls out and everything seems to be going to poop? Yeah that sucks. but what really sucks is when you have one of those days where everything starts out going super-duper great and then somewhere along the way BOOM nothings going right at all. Today has been one of those best/worst days for me. Today started out pretty good, I actually had help taking care of my son (18 months old) which freed me up to take care of some of my business uninterupted. I had a few friends stop by and visit which was great & i got a lot of work done (i'm self employed). So far so good. Then the misses comes home and isn't in a very good mood (which for some odd reason has an effect on my mood), then i noticed that we were completely out of certain necessary materials (i hate running out, i need to get way more organized) then i noticed a critical mistake in an order (wrong dates on a batch of tee-shirts) Oh my God - i just lost about $800.00 profit just that quick and without my much needed materials I have no way to make it up in time. Oh well no time to trip about it - gotta get to my meeting & it was good. So now i'm home and a little nervous about speaking tomorrow, so I'm just gonna cool out, watch a movie and get some rest - even though we have a house full of wild children visiting - running around screaming, fighting & crying (yeah real peacful) I work a program which sometimes makes me feel like i'm wearing emotional handcuffs - i'm becoming too mature to keep acting out and i'm just too damn grateful to be getting all depressed about things... but Lord knows that sometimes i'd like to just kick a big old hole in a wall & then throw myself a nice large pity party for one. Thank God for recovery and the ability to feel things, talk about things, think about things, pray about things and just go on with my life.
Just for today I understand that shits gonna happen & sometimes its gonna happen to me - oh well we all get a turn. I am grateful that I have tools that help me cope so that I don't feel the need to go "cop". And by the way Peace is where we find it.
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oh man I'm laughing, but not at you...with you. Sometimes when I say sobriety sucks it is because now that I'm sober awhile I can't be a SHIT anymore and rip into everyone when things don't go my way. I love my life today, and like you say "I'm too damn grateful to act out..." but geesh, sometimes the road is very narrow. Thank God we have our meetings to put things in perspective. Anyway, we do the right thing... I have a feeling your HP will give you back your lost profit (or whatever) when you least expect it.
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