Monday, June 18, 2007
I got sunshine...
There's a song that goes: I GOT SUNSHINE ON A CLOUDY DAY, WHEN ITS COLD OUTSIDE I GOT THE MONTH OF MAY. Well I ain't quite that chipper, but I am very grateful for God and this program today despite the struggles in my life. Lately I haven't been so caught up in the negativity and anger brought on by having to raise my boys (20 months and 6 years) while my wife's at work. Whew ! Lately I haven't been so grumpy about having to clean house behind a bunch of adults and kids who apparently couldn't care less. Amazingly I haven't completely lost my mind behind this car I purchased for several thousand dollars which has turned out to be a complete lemon (needs an engine and a host of other stuff) I haven't even killed my wife behind our recent arrival into the land of absolute brokeness (notice how i kinda blame here for it) I just have not found it necessary to use drugs over this shit or cuss anybody out either. Miracle ? Hell yeah it is. There's something about staying on the path and keeping the faith. In a lot of ways I have been changing (no longer interested in sleeping with bunches of hot chicks, or stealing or lying, etc) but this one is the hum-dinger ! I have been praying about my lack of acceptance and my temper and wella - i found relief. Seemingly effortless relief from acting like a total maniac (while my disease told me that I'd be well justified in doing so "this time"). Well JUST FOR TODAY: disease you can kiss my ass, Thank you God and the 12 Steps and the members who keep loving me and showing me the way. If you think that you can't get better in a certain area of your life - you are sadly mistaken. We do recover. Peace
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3 comments:
RIGHT ON. "Disease you can kiss my ass" is SUCH a beautiful statement, isn't it?!! I have had too little sleep and so I thought (see--- thinking---gets ya every time, huh?!)I'd check out a few new recovery sites. I like your honesty. It speaks well of your willingness. :o)
blessings from the midwest Asylum
abbie
hahaha. nice post.
you know i STILL just never ge used to how cool this thing is and how it just 'works'. blows me away too. its just weird. that's all. im so used to what aa calls the 'power drive' that this approach just feels ? effortless by comparison. feels like a free lunch or something. even though its not really. the 'price' (if you like to call it that) seems to be the death of the ego. which is hard for me, but feels GREAT when i start getting some improvement in a stubborn area of my life. well i'm glad its working for you! long may it continue!
By the way. I should mention, I think you write VERY well. you coud be a comedy writer. or a stand up. some kind of writer. if you WANTED to be that is. not everybody does, I know writers so (in theory) I SHOULD know what I'm talking about. but theres no doubt, you have a VERY obvious skill in this area. comic book writitng. something that involves good dialoge. there must be a way to channel this ability. i have no ambitions to be a writer. published or whatever. but to me, your ability is VERY !! noticable.
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