I was in the throws of the emotional rollercoaster caused by having 90 days clean when I wrote this, I think I was angry at the drugs, myself & the world. I nearly got boo'd off stage at a poetry reading (lol - some people just don't understand 'Art') This is Not For The Overly Sensitive
Title: Unbelievable
I pinched myself because I found it so damn hard to believe
I kept my eyes wide open looking for the trick up your sleeve
It made no sense to me that I would find someone like you
I had heard so many lies, that I didn’t know what was true
In no time we found ourselves growing ever closer it seemed
You kept me so very happy beyond my wildest of dreams
But I never fully could trust you and I just don’t know why
I couldn’t shake this funny feeling that your ass was a lie
Whenever you didn’t answer the telephone when I called
Whenever you preferred to hang out with your friends at the mall
Whenever you didn’t feel as though you wanted my sex
Whenever you slipped and mentioned the fuckin name of your ex
I felt like you were making a big ass fool outta me
I wondered if I only saw in you what I wanted to see
I accused you and then I said that I ain’t playin these games
You cried and asked if maybe I was going insane
I told you that I ain’t crazy maybe you just wish that I was
Maybe you would be happier with somebody that’s dumb
I said you’d better straighten up or your ass got to go
Then I felt bad and promised that I wouldn’t trip anymo’
Then next day I bought you flowers and wrote a letter to you
Confessing all of my love, and then I signed it “your boo”
Things went well for a good while until I called you one day
You didn’t answer your phone and that shit blew me away
My stomach was all fucked up and my thinking was gone
I was nice when you came home, but that didn’t last very long
Cuz I started the inquisition; I gave you the third degree
I wanted to know the reason you kept on playin with me
Your reasons did not even come close to calming my rage
It was right then that I decided to take it to the next stage
So I slapped you and then I stared as you lay on the floor
I Said bitch I love you but I ain’t gonna take this no more
You understand me? I asked as you slowly nodded your head
Cuz if you don’t girl then one of us might just wind up dead
Then we hugged & you started wipin the blood from your mouth
Told you I love you and all I wanted was some peace in our house
And that’s what I got; we had no problems, not even a one
Till you came home a little late from going out for some fun
I wanted to know about every single little thing you’d been doing
I called you a lie and said you probably was out somewhere screwing
Your explanation fell on deaf ears cuz I was just too far gone
Cuz then I hit you upside the head with my damn cellular phone
It was the first thing I grabbed; I didn’t mean to hit you so hard
I saw the blood and then I rushed and put you into the car
You got fourteen stitches put in right there next to your eye
And every time I notice it I want to break down and cry
I promised things will get much better if you give me a chance
Reminding you that our love was the world’s greatest romance
Reminding you that I need you and I’ll just die without you
Reminding you that nobody’s ever made me feel like you do
Then we made love but something was wrong and oh yes I could tell
Then I said “you cheated didn’t you? You lying bitch, go to hell”
You said “I’m leaving you”, then got up and you started to pack
I don’t remember throwing that lamp, hitting you square in the back
I don’t remember me kickin you all over your body that night
And I really don’t even remember if you put up a fight
I do remember running out of breath, getting tired after a while
I laid on the floor right next to you, gave you a kiss and I smiled
And said baby-girl you’re my world and I simply love you to death
I heard you say “I love you too” as you struggled for breath
I saw that you were crying and it broke me in half
I started sobbing too and fell asleep as the time slowly passed
I awoke there on the floor in the same spot where we wept
You had packed up all your shit and then moved out as I slept
I figured you were trippin and would call when you calmed down
But with every passing hour all my smiles turned into frowns
I called all of the places where I thought you had gone
Nobody knew a thing and I thought “man, what have I done?”
As hours turned into days and the days kept rolling by
I couldn’t believe that you were gone and I couldn’t figure why
I finally ran into you about a month on down the road
You were sitting down on a park bench and you were sitting all alone
I walked up and smiled asked if I could only have a minute
I said my heart is empty and that only you ‘my boo’ could fill it
You smiled and shook your head, told me that it just won’t work
I apologized and told you that I know I’d been a jerk
My lessons been learned cuz without you, I had nearly died
I been staying up every night and all I do now is cry
I stared deeply into your eyes as I asked for some forgiveness
A teardrop ran down your cheek, and then I gave you a real kiss
Two days later, you moved back in and we were happy as hell
I said we should get married, you said that sounded real swell
For weeks we enjoyed every minute of every day into night
But shortly thereafter we got into a helluva fight
I said that I wasn’t playin no more games with yo ass
When I was done you had to get both of your arms in a cast
I was sorry but I was mad cuz you kept fuckin with me
As hard as I tried, I simply could not get you to see
That girl I love you to death and I ain’t trying to lose you
Just be where I can find you does that concept confuse you?
I keep giving you all these chances and I hope you can see
That ain’t nobody gone love you better, ain’t nobody like me.
Would you believe that dirty bitch packed up and left me again?
So I said “fuck her!” she’s prob’ly out screwing one of her friends
Oh yeah I cried I won’t deny that my heart had got broke
I just refuse to hunt her down like I’m some sorta joke
As time went on I healed from all of the pain she had caused
And I ran into another sexy girl that gave reason to pause
I told her that I was the luckiest man alive cuz I met her
And promised her that nobody else could treat her no better
So things went well and I was happier than I’ve ever been
Cuz she wasn’t only my lover she was my closest friend
But I pinched myself because I found it so hard to believe
So I kept both my eyes open looking for the tricks up her sleeve…
Title: Unbelievable
I pinched myself because I found it so damn hard to believe
I kept my eyes wide open looking for the trick up your sleeve
It made no sense to me that I would find someone like you
I had heard so many lies, that I didn’t know what was true
In no time we found ourselves growing ever closer it seemed
You kept me so very happy beyond my wildest of dreams
But I never fully could trust you and I just don’t know why
I couldn’t shake this funny feeling that your ass was a lie
Whenever you didn’t answer the telephone when I called
Whenever you preferred to hang out with your friends at the mall
Whenever you didn’t feel as though you wanted my sex
Whenever you slipped and mentioned the fuckin name of your ex
I felt like you were making a big ass fool outta me
I wondered if I only saw in you what I wanted to see
I accused you and then I said that I ain’t playin these games
You cried and asked if maybe I was going insane
I told you that I ain’t crazy maybe you just wish that I was
Maybe you would be happier with somebody that’s dumb
I said you’d better straighten up or your ass got to go
Then I felt bad and promised that I wouldn’t trip anymo’
Then next day I bought you flowers and wrote a letter to you
Confessing all of my love, and then I signed it “your boo”
Things went well for a good while until I called you one day
You didn’t answer your phone and that shit blew me away
My stomach was all fucked up and my thinking was gone
I was nice when you came home, but that didn’t last very long
Cuz I started the inquisition; I gave you the third degree
I wanted to know the reason you kept on playin with me
Your reasons did not even come close to calming my rage
It was right then that I decided to take it to the next stage
So I slapped you and then I stared as you lay on the floor
I Said bitch I love you but I ain’t gonna take this no more
You understand me? I asked as you slowly nodded your head
Cuz if you don’t girl then one of us might just wind up dead
Then we hugged & you started wipin the blood from your mouth
Told you I love you and all I wanted was some peace in our house
And that’s what I got; we had no problems, not even a one
Till you came home a little late from going out for some fun
I wanted to know about every single little thing you’d been doing
I called you a lie and said you probably was out somewhere screwing
Your explanation fell on deaf ears cuz I was just too far gone
Cuz then I hit you upside the head with my damn cellular phone
It was the first thing I grabbed; I didn’t mean to hit you so hard
I saw the blood and then I rushed and put you into the car
You got fourteen stitches put in right there next to your eye
And every time I notice it I want to break down and cry
I promised things will get much better if you give me a chance
Reminding you that our love was the world’s greatest romance
Reminding you that I need you and I’ll just die without you
Reminding you that nobody’s ever made me feel like you do
Then we made love but something was wrong and oh yes I could tell
Then I said “you cheated didn’t you? You lying bitch, go to hell”
You said “I’m leaving you”, then got up and you started to pack
I don’t remember throwing that lamp, hitting you square in the back
I don’t remember me kickin you all over your body that night
And I really don’t even remember if you put up a fight
I do remember running out of breath, getting tired after a while
I laid on the floor right next to you, gave you a kiss and I smiled
And said baby-girl you’re my world and I simply love you to death
I heard you say “I love you too” as you struggled for breath
I saw that you were crying and it broke me in half
I started sobbing too and fell asleep as the time slowly passed
I awoke there on the floor in the same spot where we wept
You had packed up all your shit and then moved out as I slept
I figured you were trippin and would call when you calmed down
But with every passing hour all my smiles turned into frowns
I called all of the places where I thought you had gone
Nobody knew a thing and I thought “man, what have I done?”
As hours turned into days and the days kept rolling by
I couldn’t believe that you were gone and I couldn’t figure why
I finally ran into you about a month on down the road
You were sitting down on a park bench and you were sitting all alone
I walked up and smiled asked if I could only have a minute
I said my heart is empty and that only you ‘my boo’ could fill it
You smiled and shook your head, told me that it just won’t work
I apologized and told you that I know I’d been a jerk
My lessons been learned cuz without you, I had nearly died
I been staying up every night and all I do now is cry
I stared deeply into your eyes as I asked for some forgiveness
A teardrop ran down your cheek, and then I gave you a real kiss
Two days later, you moved back in and we were happy as hell
I said we should get married, you said that sounded real swell
For weeks we enjoyed every minute of every day into night
But shortly thereafter we got into a helluva fight
I said that I wasn’t playin no more games with yo ass
When I was done you had to get both of your arms in a cast
I was sorry but I was mad cuz you kept fuckin with me
As hard as I tried, I simply could not get you to see
That girl I love you to death and I ain’t trying to lose you
Just be where I can find you does that concept confuse you?
I keep giving you all these chances and I hope you can see
That ain’t nobody gone love you better, ain’t nobody like me.
Would you believe that dirty bitch packed up and left me again?
So I said “fuck her!” she’s prob’ly out screwing one of her friends
Oh yeah I cried I won’t deny that my heart had got broke
I just refuse to hunt her down like I’m some sorta joke
As time went on I healed from all of the pain she had caused
And I ran into another sexy girl that gave reason to pause
I told her that I was the luckiest man alive cuz I met her
And promised her that nobody else could treat her no better
So things went well and I was happier than I’ve ever been
Cuz she wasn’t only my lover she was my closest friend
But I pinched myself because I found it so hard to believe
So I kept both my eyes open looking for the tricks up her sleeve…
this is not a true story, at least not mine.
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