mixed emotions

man today i had the strongest feels of sadness that i have had in a while, i felt like calling and begging my ex to give me another chance so bad that it was killing me.
but i know better than to do that one.
i knew that the feeling would pass and it did - thank God.

i aint trying to beg nobody to be with me - not today.
especially somebady that doesn't want me.
damn that sounds so common sense but when my thinking goes nutty it really goes nutty - cuz for a moment i forget that this is my reality.
so i prayed, talked about my feelings and stayed in reality until the feelings passed.

then i got the kids and things started definitely looking up.
then i went to the meeting and all the girls were on me (the cute ones anyway) i know that they are all just forms of medication for me right now but damn it felt good to be the hot boy once again.
i aint never the ugly guy, and i got me some fresh new clothes (my old stuff doesn't fit anymore, after shedding so much weight and i am still 20 pounds lighter than i was in december) but it's my spirit.
it's not so dark and depressed anymore and that light that shined in me before is rekindled and it's very attractive.
that confidence that i used to have is back.
basically Drew is back, but this time better than ever.
and much wiser.
more humble and a whole lot of other things that give me the hope that if & when God sees fit to let me have another chance at the love game - that i will be capable of maintaining it, cherishing it abnd holding on to it.

so my day consisted of highs and lows and its ok.
Just for today i have learned to hold on stay on the path and trust that "this too shall pass"
and never ever forget that "God is good"
if you didn't know, you do now.
peace