Thursday, April 12, 2007

Oh God...

I applied for a life insurance policy a few months back (trying to be responsible adult man). Well they sent my check back; which was cool with me - cuz i need another bill like i need a hole in my head. I was led to believe that their reasoning was based on my doctor not being timely about giving them my medical records. Besides I have had 2 HIV tests, a complete physical and am monogamous (3+ years) with a woman who has also been tested twice; not to mention we have a 16 moth old son who is completely healthy.
Well anyway the life insurance agent called me today and asked if I ever found out why they denied me - informing me that it had some medical basis - PANIC MODE !!! This guy had no other info, no number to call, nothing - ANGRY PANIC MODE !!! I got on the internet & got with my doctor & faxed a request to release the info to my doctor. This is apparently the procedure that one has to take to find out what's going on (something about confidentiality). IMPATIENCE MODE !!!
I prayed, called my sponsor, shared my true feelings with a few people & finally - RESTORATION TO SANITY MODE !!!
Just for today, i'm not sure what's going on, but i am confident that i am healthy & if i'm not then more will be revealed to me in due time. I have done all that I can do & now I trust in God that everything will be as it should be. I really don't want to die; ever, but certainly not anytime soon. I'm only 42 years old (which may seem pretty old to some of you teenie-boppers) but it ain't old at all. Why I can still remember all kinds of things like.... uh... anyway it ain't old dammit. But I do need to get with the fact that we are all going to go sooner or later (even me) and that each day is a blessing to be cherished and appreciated and fully lived. Thank you God for today - please let me live it to the fullest.
Maybe you (dear reader) should do the same.

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