Will the real Brain Dead Genius please stand up? I understand that I suffer from a bad-ass disease. This mother-fucker will have me flippin' from real life to fantasy world in a split second without my knowledge or permission. I started writing this blog to express myself - free myself, (it's therapeutic ya know) but then somewhere along the way I got caught up in trying to sound good, wondering what people who read this (all 2 of them) will think of me. I slipped into trying to be what i thought that somebody else thought that i should be. Damn ! that's hard work just saying that shit let alone living it. So all I was getting out of this was some superficial shit. I may not know a whole lot but I know enough to know that around here any type of growth, relief & freedom requires real work (& the operative word in that sentence is real) I have to keep it real to the best of my ability and when I stray off course I got to come back strong & dedicated. Just for today - fuck wearing a mask, my life is on the line. This ain't no damn poetry - this is what it is, and i want to try my best to write it, feel it & live it just as it is - not the way my diseased thinking tells me it should be. And by the way - it really is a great day to be clean.
-------------peace
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Will the real "me" stand up... I screamed that one at myself aswell!! it was such a break through, surrender moment for me to get through that bit, like tearing off a straight jacket, ripping off a tough layer. So thank you for reminding me & thank you for your honesty :-)
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