I had found myself wallowing in negativity, thinking it, feeling it & worst of all speaking it. Hearing myself say negative things over and over again reinforced my ill beliefs and strengthened the hold over me that my disease was getting. I was stuck in the problem. Finally I talked about my feelings & fantasies of flight to my 'significant other' only to find that she had been entertaining similar notions. Uh ohhh this was the ultimate reality check because I don't want to lose her and i certainly don't want her to leave ME. (now if I leave her that's different) hmmm... i wonder whats up with that? Anyway we talked and discovered that nobody really wants to leave - we both want things to get better. So i asked what is it that i need to do. I didn't even tell her that i wanted anything in return - I just had better keep the focus on me, working on my defects and giving me best effort consistantly. Just for today the year is 2007 and there is no good excuse for my past experiences to disable my life in the present. It's time to let go of the 'old information', resentments and fears and 'Step into life' fully living in the present. Sounds real easy and good hunh? Well God i do believe i'm going to need your help on this one.
Peace
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
by 'cool ass recovery sites' do you mean to say recovery from ass addiction? because if that's the case I have to cop to a serious relapse. my harvard trained cardiologist wears the hell out of a pair of jeans. and as long as I have a face he'll have a place to sit.
if you meant something else by cool ass, i apologize.
Hah. Ass addiction.
It's so helpful to me to see someone in recovery able to get outside their own head. Can you come get my husband and teach him how to think? I'll put him out on the side of the road.
Thank you Chris for helping me to find my smile and laughter - much needed at that moment too.
To the JunkysWife, I am still laughing at what you wrote...
Post a Comment