This process is of mine can be good, bad & ugly. It can be happy, sad & everything in between. But one thing that it tends NOT to be is DULL. Recently a friend was caught up in a situation where some of his "jokes" crossed the line into mild flirtation. The other person involved was one of his friends who has a boyfirend who is also his friend. Somehow the boyfriend found text messages that made him very angry & uncomfortable. The boyfriend shared his feelings with other members who promptly starting the judging process. My friend shared it with me & I understood what he was feeling & how it could've happened. It ain't that hard to see: She's a nice looking girl & too much playing on both parts and PRESTO ! somebody crossed the line. I just want to sound of on all the JUDGES in this scenarion: one guy who has shared with me about his own indescretions (not just flirting, but sleeping around) another guy who was notorious for sleeping around, and the rest: a bunch of recovering people who are far from perfect in their own behaviors. I guess I understand though, and I have to hug them when I see them & pray for them. I also think I'll take a moment to thank God, because just for today, I'm not the self-righteous, judgemental asshole. I understand that even with my best efforts I am inclined to slip & fall down. I am so completely aware that I try my best to just avoid certain situations (like getting too close to certain females, gambling, etc.) I understand that my disease drives a car with no brakes & once I start acting out on certain behaviours that feel good to me, there ain't no stopping. I am also grateful that although this process of mine is a lot of things, it's hardly ever boring.
Peace.
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3 comments:
When you say judgmental. Do you mean they were angry? Or were putting the girl down with some kind of comments?
I would not expect my BF to tolerate me flirting with guys behind his back. Its deceitful. Besides I would be INCAPABLE of disguising it from him as I cannot hide things very much at all really..
I would not tolerate behavior that 'crossed the line' even though I am very fallible and imperfect, but I'm not sure I would call that being judgmental.
Ah well. I prefer to stay out of disputes pretty much. Too much like hard work!
Yeah the 'judges' angry with my 'flirtatious' friend, but not at the girl (for some reason). Since the flirtation was mutual I believe that they both were out of bounds - but I don't think passing judgement on people is right (especially when you start gossiping & spreading rumors). I just happen to know everybody involved (benefits of being in a small town) but I agree with you, I try to stay far away from the chaos. Thank you very much for sharing with me
yeah gettting angry always looks a bit lame. it looks out of control of something. they might very well have been hypocritical in that they were equally 'guilty', but they still might have a good point. it always surprises me how very accurate observations can come from quite crazy people wih no impulse control. sometimes they are dead right! weird.
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