Ok so I have been having my fair share or stresses lately and I've been sharing with people like my sponsor, friends and even my sponsees from time to time. Well one of my sponsees posted an awesome blog the other day; which I happened to read. It was about people in the meetings acting like life is so fucking wonderful when you know that they're struggling. He pointed out how some people NEVER put topics on the floor asking for help, but they are always ready to help someone else. He also shared that he was grateful that he isn't afraid to ask for help if he needs it. Well after reading that I started thinking about me, asking myself do I fall into that category and i had to be honest and reluctantly answer: kinda. I do share with bunches of people but i havent shared with the group in a while. So tonight I dropped it like it was hot - I put my topic on the floor and guess what: I got some hell-i-fied feedback. It was a great feeling to have the group caring about me & my shit and I got a lot of relief just getting it off my chest once again. After the meeting I was sharing with my wife (who just happens to be my sponsees sister) about her brother's blog and how it helped me and she told me that he wrote it about me. I 'bout died, it's really funny how God works, because what a coincidence that I just happened to read that particular blog of his (I'm not a regular reader) and even though I didn't go to the meeting with the intention of sharing, it just happened to get really quiet for a long time and I just said "fuck it, I might as well share". Just for today I don't put a whole lot of stock in coincidences, I believe that God works miracles and that sponsorship is definitely a two-way street. Hopefully I will keep doing the things that I suggest to my sponsees and that I will stay open-minded to receive God's messages regardless of the messenger.
Peace.
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5 comments:
Well I'm glad you got some useful feedback. Have you been keeping your problems to yourself? I find that very difficult. I tell everybody everything. Not just in AA either! I speak to everyone! Waiting at bus stops, work, you name it!
Anyway,..
"people in the meetings acting like life is so fucking wonderful when you know that they're struggling."
See I would say that was 'taking their inventory'. It sounds very angry and intolerant. It may be true, but if it comes from an angry place it end up being a rant, instead of an impartial observation.
I have met a TON of deluded people in AA, including the ones you describe, but instead of moaning about them, I simply avoid them. Its the old 'stick with the winners' maxim. It means never have to waste my energy getting annoyed with deluded AA members. Of which there are MANY.
"He pointed out how some people NEVER put topics on the floor asking for help, but they are always ready to help someone else."
These two points are not always related. They CAN be, but there is no reason for them to be. For me the term 'asking for help' is a little melodramatic. It conjures up images of 'crisis management' or 'putting out fires'. I call it 'getting feedback'. I prefer the more un dramatic terminology.
For me, I do not need to be seen 'asking for help' during a meeting in order for people to know that I have work to do like everyone else.
Very Well Put - I agree totally
i love your blog, really i do and i thank God that i found it. it's highly inspiring and honest. you are not scared to talk about your weaknesses and there lies your strength. i have my own problems and though i love being honest with others, it's hard being honest with myself. i went thru all your posts and the thots i gained from them where awesome. you don't know it but you've inspired me today thank you.
I just wanted to let you know that I love your honesty with this post.
I blogged about a similar topic the other day only mine had to do with me falling into the trap of comparing myself to the people who apparently have no problems in sobriety.
For a little while there, I was feeling bad about myself because of the perfect pictures that others were painting of their lives.
I have since realized that I was doing this and have made a conscious effort to cut the shit.
I also wanted to let you know that I am adding you to my blogroll. I love reading your posts. I hope you don't mind.
Thanks "nana" & "erin" for your words of encouragement.
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