They say that painful situations such as grieving happens in waves. And they eventually decrease in intensity & frequency. Whew thank God for that. As I sit here not presently in the midst of a tidal wave of pain, self-doubt, hurt, anger, depression, self-pity, regret and hopelessness. I am able to see & accept that God's will is always best - not always enjoyable but look at how far He's brought me so far. I am ever so grateful for my experiences: The eye-opening agony of ending a long term relationship (never will i behave in the manner that I did with her, i will always try to show appreciation for my woman, bout time i learned that simple shit), I am out here in florida observing very happy couples who have been fortunate enough to have achieved long term joy together & i am seeing that in some ways I am doing a fine job but there are other areas that I can improve upon. If God sees fit to give me another chance at love whether with my ex or with someone new then you best believe I will live my life in such a way as to have no regrets. I am still holding on to a shred of hope that things will work themselves out - after all I am still Drew - the wonderful guy that stole her heart & helped to her along this road to recovery. Not that she owes me anything & not that our son together will be used as a bargaining chip - but I'm just saying that I can have hope if I want to. And just for today:
I ain't giving up hope. I will work on me & continue working on me & I believe that my light will shine and be an attraction for her to come on back home. If not then I will eventually gain some acceptance.
Peace
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2 comments:
mgThere are always lessons that God wants us to learn in everything we go through. And thats ok sometimes I learn and sometimes I end up going through something simalar again to practice what I didn't get the last time. I'm am learning from this. I know I have work to do on me. I know in my heart that it is not all your fault. I would be stupid if I did.
i started reading from dec 14th back.......just now do i realize its you Drew. Im sorry you have to go thru and feel this pain. Purge forward. God has your back, i know. if ya ever need to talk or vent, holler at me. you are in my prayers. and there is a lesson or reason for this...it will be revealed when HE is ready to reveal it.
Blessings,peace, life and love to you.
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