As i see it there are two different worlds: one world is the world of the talk. The one where we share real good about what we'll do in any given situation. This world is great because it can be whatever we say it is and we can always look good, intelligent, profound, highly spiritual and all that good stuff - ok so you're following me so far right? Good. Now there's the other world, some call it the Real World, it's what happens when the rubber meets the road - when shits happening to YOU. Difficult situations that truly test your metal.
I have discovered that these two worlds dont always match up. In other words the talk doesn't always match the walk - in any given situation that causes me to be stressed, hurt, angry, etc.
I know that I don't have to use, despite my feelings. I know that in a stressfull situation I am entitled to feel whatever i have to feel. I dont need to be embarrassed about my feelings, i am not going through this alone. This is a we program - i have friends that have all come rallying to my aid. Thank you NA & thank you God. Yeah today I can thank God even though I am still feeling the pain. I can see once again that God is in the best position to lead me to where i NEED to be. And i have faith thats a far better place than where i WANT to be. I know now that I have screwed up thinking and left to my own devices I would willingly enter into some chaotic madness and then stay there til the very bitter ends. This is not a sideways stab at my relationship - this is just the truth as it relates to relationships and situations of every kind. When the program says that we never have to do this alone - it means that i don't have to keep screwing up my life by trying to figure everything out all by myself.
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