Day by day i move forward. I haven't laid down and died yet and i don't think that i will. Whew ! Thank you God for strengthening me through this ordeal. Thank you for surrounding me with your prescence, with your angels & spokespersons. Everyone who has talked to me, prayed for me, sat with me & cried with me - thanks from the bottom of my heart - i promise to try and be of service to the next person who will come behind me. Today I thank God for this experience - not that I am glad to have felt the pain, nor am I glad that I have caused harm - but I am grateful for the clarity and the growth that I am experiencing as a result of. I see my life and my Higher Power much diferently now. I even look at my recovery differently. Today i understand that either God is or He ain't. That trusting Him is not easy but it's not as hard as I want to believe that it is either. That by trusting in Him I have nothing to fear. I also understand that complancency can set in in a relationship just like in recovery. I understand that sometimes a relapse can be the jarring experience that brings about a more rigorous application of my program and this applies to my relationships as well as my recovery. I understand that for as much as I have grown - I have not arrived and...
Just for today I have work to do if I want to receive the rewards of a life filled with serenity & God's love.
P.S. Just an update: my relationship is still gone. After numerous discussions I have surrendered to the fact that I am powerless. I am not at all happy about this but I am grateful for the many many blessings in my life today and for my life. I won't question God's decisions anymore. I am not done hurting, but fool that I am - I continue to hope, even though it's been said that all hope is gone. Maybe in time I will learn to let that go to. All i know is that I am going to take continue to take the awesome suggestions that I have received from my friends in both fellowships (Irish Friend - I love you!)
Once again the message is hope - that I ain't gotta use DOPE no matter what, come HELL, HIGHWATER or the breakup of the best relationship that I've ever had in my life.
Peace.
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3 comments:
A Hundred Thousand Angels. Bliss
http://www.hypnosisaudio.com/BL03.htm?gclid=CO3MlJq6t5ACFQFZQgodlQYKLQ
Simon Webbe - No Worries
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87pJF1VLfXc
these are great tunes and i think you can buy em on itunes now..
good luck. keep up the good work!
keep on keepin on..
You are so awesome ! Thank you. Those songs are great - I am listening to them right now & i have been listening to them all day. I believe that you are one of the 100,000 angels ! Keep sharing the hope. Love you.
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