Wel its been shared with me that all these things i'm feeling are normal. The emotions that range from sad to who cares to angry to i don't know what i'm feeling. This is supposedly all part of the grieving process and it is normal. Funny, it feels anything but normal. I am very uncomfortable. I just keep sharing and sharing - i'm so sickof sharing that i just want to spit ! Anyway this morning; after experiencing the entire gamut of feelings and emotions all night long (working 3rd shift again) it looks like i am starting my day off on a note of self-pity and anger. I had to humble myself and ask for some necessities from my "EX" (i guess i can surrender and say it). She was cool about it - she always is very cool about everything (i guess that kinda bothers me, because as my life goes coo-coo for cocoa puffs - she's all calm and cool without an APPARENT care in the world) oh well - it is what it is. Anyway i just felt like a super-bum. i hate feeling like this but its cool - it could be worse. wouldn't life be so nice if one had time to prepare for everything that happens. i guess that ain't how this thing works. But i do know one thing - no matter what i still ain't going to use. and no matter what obstacle crosses my path - i will endure it and survive it - Drew will rise again, no doubt in my mind. I am feeling a little better everyday. and i truly in my heart believe that...
Just for today, i'll get by with a little help from my friends & God.
Thank you God - I am grateful for the time that she and I have shared, some good things come to an end - i don't want to disrespect the memories that are real and good and mine. I am also grateful that i don't anticipate any baby-momma drama from her, as long as i handle my business i think she's a class act - classy enough to respect my relationship with my son and to not do anything to harm it.
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2 comments:
the emotions and thoughts are not the problem. the 'problem' (if there IS such a thing) is BLINDLY FOLLOWING the emotions or thoughts.
Just keep bringing them into your awareness. keep 'labeling' them. out loud on this blog. whatever really. as long as you can 'see' them and 'name' them, they are not 'running the show'.
observing them from a distance (even if its only a very small distance), reduces their power.
let them 'burn out' under your watchful eye. it may not be a pretty sight, but its a dam site prettier than getting caught up in them, and BECOMING them. see that really WOULD be a shame.
These are S*IT HOT. In my opinion anyway..
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle Audiobook
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle Audiobook
(Oh yeah and you can get all these things straight from the iTunes store as well in case you don't already know.)
thank you for the awesome insight
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