ENOUGH !

When i am hurting, i must pray.
When i am praying, i must be honest.
When i am able to, i must do step work.
If my mind stars to wander, i must focus on what i am doing right in front of me.
If a question in my step-work causes me to start drifting off down the bunny hole, skip that question and go on to the next one.

if i come under attack 20 times in a day,
i must defend myself as many times in a day

my goal is to get closer to my Higher Power.
Therein lies the true source of my strength and courage.
Therein lies the source of my serenity.

With Him, i can do all things.

On the other side of this experience lies the greatest gift of my life - if i take this postive action.

there is nothing to figure out, there is simply action to take.

when i am hurting i must remember that every act of manipulation, begging and all other manifestations of self-will have merely served to yield and increased level of pain.
i have been adding to my own burden all along.

Just for today...
bring it on disease, i aint afraid of you anymore, i aint afraid of hurt anymore, i ain't running anymore,
i'm too fucking tired and i refuse to keep on co-operating with you.

today we go to battle and the stakes are my life.