today i made a decision to go to my local meeting again. i thought i never would return there, after all thats where she goes. well i had a service commitment and i skipped it last week but not today. oddly enough she wasnt there tonight, but the point is i was there - in all my glory. the drew of old showed up and was happy joyous and free. charasmatic as ever. i chaired the meeting and shared on a topic and when i opened my mouth - the message came out and it had heat on it. my sponsee was sitting next to me and this newcomer was being flirty, but i was ignoring her.
he said after i finished talking she said "damn".
god is good. it is a joy to be of service and to be used as a vessel to carry the message of hope to someone.
it was a pleasure to be back home, some people acted wierd towards me but its ok, i know why i'm there and it aint for the popularity contest.
anyway this day has been cool, really cool.
my ex and i had a few few phone convos' and saw each other and talked civiliy and i didnt walk away with any ill will or uncomfortable feelings.
thank you god for the freedom.
she asked me to keep the kids all night saturday. at first i was thinking hell no - i aint watching them so you can pull an all nighter with your new boyfriends - then i remembered that she had a wedding to go to. so i said ok. turns out the weeding is on saturday and that the baby-sitting is for an all nighter (i guess) anyway freedom and commitment, surrender, acceptance and unconditional love told me to keep my word to the kids and mind my business - so the youngins will be withme tomorrow and i am excited.
just for today i hope that i never allow anything to come between me and God, me and my recovery, me and my friends or me and my kids...
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