Staying In Reality...

i had fallen into a pattern of selective thinking...
i couldn't see the whole picture.
i wanted out of that relationship for a long time, i felt that we weren't clicking or something. i just know that i wasn't happy there. not that anybody was the villian or anything just that we weren't matching up.
there were times when i actually wished that i was out of the relationship but i was too filled with guilt (or something) to leave.
so this break uo happens (and i didnt initiate it - which probably bothered me) and ever since i have noticed that this person i have been fantasing over is just not even worth the effort.
there have been some very inconsiderate behaviors going on with respect to my feelings - jumping into a relationship with i guy that i was so-called friends with and being very public about it (after i asked that they keep it low key as i was struggling to deal with it) it was kinda like "hey that's your problem"
then there's this deal with the income tax money - i was promised a little share and now that the time comes it's like "sorry dude can't help ya" and even with me asking for a mediator to keep us from talking directly to help me deal with my hurt - i get contacted directly anyway - it's like "sorry dude, i forgot" i even asked to be informed when my W2's arrive in the mail and of course i wasn't and it was like "sorry dude i forgot"
point is that a person that can turn on you so abruptly and quickly is not a person that i want to shed one fucking tear over.
not a person that i want to be with at all, now or in the future.
and certainly not the person that i think God has for me.
in fact i think that by the summer, as i get my employment and housing situated - i would be wise to get my child support and visitation rights situated through the courts, simply because this experience has shown me a whole new side of that woman that i never knew existed and who knows what the future will bring, i think i best do the next right thing and just protect myself.
just for today God is good and He has me, my future looks extremely bright and as long as i stay firmly rooted in reality, i believe that i will be done with the hard part of this ordeal. Time will tell.