Saturday, January 12, 2008

waiting...

GOd please take care of her, God please take care of him, God please take care of me. God please.
this is my prayer, i dont know why i am saying this - it is what comes out when i open my mouth.
my reality is so cold and dark and brutally painful that i am want to just numb out in any way that i can.
i am a raggedy ass guy, not able to handle this situATION WITH ANY SEMBLENCE OF SELF-RESPECT, dignity, restraint, patience, faith or trust. i am just waiting and fighting every step of the way.
why me God?
why do i feel like i am worhtless, unworthy of love, a piece of discarded trash.
why GOd do i feel like you hate me for letting this happen to me.
why do i feel like you brought me to this place only to leave me here in misery?
God please help me.
I can not help myself.
God please help me.
I am waiting...
Posted by at

1 comment:

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

this too shall pass

http://anon-recovery-archive.blogspot.com/2006/06/weepy-overwhelmed-try-taoist-arch.html

try the taoist arch
then just keep bus in meetings and service work, exercise, sleep, decent food, you know, taking care of yourself while these feelings play out.
thats it

stop obsessing about other people you have no control over
start focusing on taking care of YOU instead. not chasing people

At any given time, 50% of the population are desperately trying to get into a relationship and the other 50% are trying to get out.

you are doing classic 'love addict' stuff. ur ex is doing classic 'love avoider' stuff.
its all very reactive an therefore largely meaningless. no matter how 'compelling' it feels.

stay away.
thats my advice.

and !!!!!!!!! STOP OBSSESSING about her

go get a hobby! learn to play the guitar or something. ANYTHING. to get your mind off this.
there MUST be a REASONABLE project somewhere you can get busy with..?

January 12, 2008 at 5:35 PM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)